[Riverhaven, Northeast Guard Post]
Little more than a wooden plank a couple of feet wide......

Fidgit climbed up a narrow ladder.
Fidgit exclaims, "Hi!"
Fidgit says, "Haven't seen you guys around lately"
You ask, "How have you been?"
Fidgit says, "ahh much better, why do they have to strip you naked when they toss you in jail"
You ask, "You were in jail?"
Kythera says, "to get rid of fleas"
Fidgit angrily exclaims, "I do not have fleas!"
You observe Fidgit with fascination.
You say, "I don't see any"
Fidgit pulls some oversized purple knickers with berry-spattered pockets over his legs.
Fidgit puts on a pair of incandescent violet suspenders with dark puce polka-dots.
Fidgit puts a toy dragon knapsack crafted from multicolored patchwork velvet on his back.
Fidgit takes a seat on a wooden plank.
Fidgit pants.
Fidgit says, "I have too much stuff, takes forever to get dressed"
Fidgit chews on one of his blue bear's paws with a preoccupied expression.
Fidgit brushes the tangles and dust from the hair on his feet, leaving it neatly groomed.
Fidgit rummages through a purple velvet bag....
Fidgit sings:

"Bored, bored, bored, bored"

Fidgit gets a seaweed tart from inside his tart pouch.
Fidgit takes a bite of the tart.
Fidgit puts his seaweed tart in his purple knickers.
You say, "seaweed tart? that can't be good"
Fidgit gets a caramel pecan tart from inside his purple knickers.
Fidgit drools.
Fidgit says, "I've been wanting to eat this one. but I'm afraid too.."
Fidgit says, "I know, I'll just lick it...."
You ask, "Why?"
Fidgit says, "I don't know where to get more, and if I eat it all up and I like it I'll be wanting more and I won't be able to get more"
Fidgit says, "so I'll go insane trying to find them"
Fidgit says, "I'll be running all over the planet looking"
Fidgit says, "but I won't find any"
Fidgit says, "because there won't be any more"
Fidgit says, "then I'll just pull all my hair out"
Fidgit says, "then I'll be bald"
Fidgit says, "then I'll have to go find me a gnome"
Fidgit says, "and shave off their hair"
Fidgit says, "then put it on my head so I won't be bald"
Fidgit says, "because if you are bald you can't pick up any ladies like that"
Fidgit says, "and I don't want to die alone"
Kythera says, "hey"
Fidgit says, "and I want to have kids"
Kythera says, "I am bald"
Fidgit says, "and I can't have kids by myself"
Fidgit says, "my mom would never forgive me"
Fidgit says, "So you see by eating this tart right here I could set in motion the wheels that will completely destroy this world"
Kythera says, "I see"
Fidgit says, "you elothians may think you have the market on logic cornered but we Olvi know a thing or two"
Kythera ponders.
Kythera says, "so a lack of tarts will bring the end of Elanthia"
Kythera says, "I would think it would be the world dragon"
Fidgit says, "possibly"
Fidgit gets a caramel pecan tart from inside his purple knickers.
Kythera says, "but then again the world dragon may want to eat those"
Fidgit says, "say this one little tart is the key to keeping this world safe"
Kythera says, "and because you ate the only one"
Kythera says, "he will eat us all"
Fidgit nods.
Fidgit says, "so either way I can't eat this tart because it would ensure our destruction"
Fidgit ponders
Fidgit says, "You could say that by not eating this tart then I am the savior of the world..."
Fidgit leans forward and rests his chin in his hand, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Kythera stands up.
Kythera exclaims, "All hail savior Fidgit, the holder of the sacred tart!"
Kythera says, "I will be back"
Determinist Kythera climbed down a narrow ladder.
Fidgit exclaims, "Now we are talking!"
Fidgit says, "I think I could get to like this"
You ask, "what's that?"
Determinist Kythera's group climbed up a narrow ladder.
Fidgit says, "Being savior of the world"
Shawntelle says, "Hellow"
Shawntelle takes a seat on a wooden plank.
Fidgit puts his pecan tart in his purple knickers.
Kythera takes a seat on a wooden plank.
Kythera points at Shawntelle.
Kythera says, "look who I found"
Shawntelle waves.
Kythera says, "Shawntelle this is Fidgit, savior of Elanthia, holder of the Sacred Tart"
Fidgit asks Shawntelle, "Did you know that by logical deduction Kythera and I have figured out that I have just saved everyone from being killed?"
Fidgit gets a caramel pecan tart from inside his purple knickers.
Shawntelle asks, "Really?"
Shawntelle asks, "How so?"
Shawntelle says, "Nice knickers"
Fidgit says, "This tart here, is the key to it all, and as long as I protect it and don't eat it, The world will be alright"
Fidgit shows his tart to Shawntelle.
Shawntelle says, "So, if you don't eat that tart"
You ask Fidgit, "what's so special about the tart?"
Shawntelle says, "The world is safe"
Fidgit nods to Shawntelle.
Kythera says, "right the world dragon won't eat us"
Shawntelle asks, "Can I see that tart?"
Shawntelle says, "I've never seen such an important tart before"
Fidgit says, "well by eating it, I would start a horrible chain of events that would eventually lead to the world dragon awakening and eating us all"
You gasp!
You get a cuddly black velvet dragon with iridescent silver scales from inside your thigh bag.
You show Fidgit your velvet dragon.
Kythera says, "much like that one"
Kythera stretches his arms.
Kythera says, "but much bigger"
Fidgit says, "So I need a title for my new found postion.."
Shawntelle says, "Kord"
Shawntelle says, "Kord Fidget"
Shawntelle says, "There you go"
Shawntelle says, "Nice new title"
Fidgit says, "Ok, Hence forth this Olvi shall be known as Kord Fidgit, Protector of the lands and keeper of the sacred tart of ......"
You leap to your feet!
You say, "you have to name the tart too"
Shawntelle says, "Doom"
Shawntelle says, "The sacred tart of doom"
Fidgit exclaims, "Doom!"
You say, "the Tart Of Doom"
Shawntelle shakes her head at you.
Shawntelle says, "Sacred"
Shawntelle says, "Sacred tart of doom"
Kythera says, "all worship the tart of doom and Kord Fidgit"
Fidgit says, "Ok, now all I need is a bard to follow me around and sing tales of my glory"
Shawntelle looks thoughtfully at Kythera.
Shawntelle says, "I'm thinking not"
Shawntelle says, "I just don't see throngs of people kneeling to a tart"
Shawntelle says, "Could just be me"
Fidgit says, "You shall not talk to my prophet in such a disrespectfull tone"
Shawntelle peers quizzically at Fidgit.
You say, "people have worshipped more absurd things"
Shawntelle says, "Well that is true"
Shawntelle says, "However"
Fidgit says, "I'm making Kythera my prophet, since he helped me realize my true destiny"
Kythera points at himself.
Kythera asks, "really?"
Fidgit nods to Kythera.
Shawntelle says, "I still doubt you'd get many on their knees to a tart"
You say, "depends on the tart"
You look at Shawntelle and shrug.
Shawntelle says, "Oh, well sure"
Kythera says, "I will have to ask my mirror first"
Shawntelle says, "It never calls any more"
You pat Shawntelle on the back.
Shawntelle sighs.
Shawntelle says, "I feel so cheap"
Fidgit says, "Ok, now I have a title, a tart of doom, a prophet... what else do I need"
Shawntelle says, "so used"
Shawntelle looks thoughtfully at Fidgit.
You say, "tart, title, hmm...."
Shawntelle says, "You need a badge"
Kythera exclaims to Fidgit, "A holiday!"
Shawntelle says, "And some new clothes"
You say, "yeah, both"
Shawntelle says, "You should be all tarted up"
Fidgit says, "I knew I made you prophet for a reason"
You ask, "what shall we name the holiday?"
Shawntelle says, "Yes, reason is good."
Shawntelle says, "Perhaps we can find you some"
Fidgit says, "a holiday"
Fidgit ponders.
You wave your velvet dragon around.
Kythera ponders.
Shawntelle sighs.
Kythera says, "a holiday"
Fidgit says, "ok, a holiday...."
Shawntelle says, "Yes"
Shawntelle asks, "What shall we call it?"
Shawntelle asks, "The day of Tart Doom?"
Shawntelle asks, "The Doomed Tart Day?"
You ask, "Kord's Tart day?"
Fidgit says, "It should reflect my discovery of how I learned my true destiny and saved the world from the tart"
Shawntelle asks, "The day the Tart didn't get eaten?"
Fidgit says, "Tartster"
You ask, "the Day the Tart Got Away?"
Fidgit says, "the day the tart didn't get eaten.... has a certain ring to it"
Fidgit exclaims, "I like it!"
You say, "kinda long though..."
Shawntelle shrugs.
Fidgit says, "But people will remember it"
Shawntelle asks, "Remember what?"
Fidgit says, "the name for the holiday"
Shawntelle asks, "What was it?"
Shawntelle says, "I forgot"
Fidgit says, "The day the tart didn't get eaten"
Shawntelle exclaims, "Oh yes!"
Shawntelle says, "I remember that now"
Shawntelle says, "I thought it up"
Shawntelle says, "I thought up your title too"
You say, "I like the 'Day the Tart Got Away' better"
You pout.
Shawntelle says, "I think I should be named something offical"
Fidgit nods at Shawntelle.
Shawntelle asks, "Official Namer?"
Fidgit exclaims, "you are now the Kord's personal physician and holiday namer!"
Shawntelle gazes at you.
Shawntelle says, "You're the only one without a title"
Shawntelle says, "Oh dear"
Fidgit says, "Now as for you Suruli...."
Shawntelle asks, "Official Drinker?"
Shawntelle says, "Food tester"
Fidgit exclaims, "Tart quality controller!"
You beam at Fidgit!
You ask, "Then I get to eat the tart?"
Fdgit exclaims, "No! the tart must never be eaten!"
You say, "But I'm hungry"
You grumble.
Fidgit gets a seaweed tart from inside his purple knickers.
Shawntelle exclaims, "That's it!"
Fidgit says, "eat this one"
Fidgit offers you a seaweed tart.
You drool.
You exclaim, "Seaweed!"
Shawntelle says, "That's your title"
You ask, "Seaweed's my title?"
Shawntelle says, "Tart"
Shawntelle says, "Tart Suruli"
You cough.
You say, "Hey..."
Shawntelle asks, "What?"
You ask, "How'd I get that title?"
Shawntelle says, "I gave it to you"
Shawntelle says, "And I am the official namer"
Shawntelle asks, "So you don't like Tart Suruli?"
You show a seaweed tart your Chadatru's Justice.
You nod to a mug of Chadatru's Justice.
You lick the tart and discover that it's slimy.
You cough.
You blanch.
You say, "it's slimy"
You shake your seaweed tart.
Shawntelle rolls her eyes.
Shawntelle says, "It is seaweed"
Fidgit exclaims, "Now we need a bard or two who will sing my tale across the land so my fame will spread and I get tons of free stuff!"
You ponder.
You say, "wait.."
Shawntelle asks, "Who should wait?"
You lean on Shawntelle.
You say, "go ahead"
You say, "was talking to myself"
Shawntelle exclaims, "Ah!"
Shawntelle exclaims, "I have it!"
Shawntelle says, "Wait Suruli"
Fidgit says, "I thought it was Tart Item getterer"
Shawntelle says, "Both"
You ask, "Tart Getter?"
Shawntelle says, "That too"
Fidgit says, "getterer"
Shawntelle says, "Tart ITEM Getter"
Shawntelle rolls her eyes.
Shawntelle asks, "Shall I write this all down?"
You jot down some notes.
You say, "here"
(Suruli hands Shawntelle her notes)
Shawntelle sighs heavily.
Shawntelle says, "You mispelled Tart, here"
(Shawntelle points at the notes)
Shawntelle says, "and here"
(Shawntelle points at the notes)
Okay, you thrash yourself soundly.
You say, "I can see why you haven't eaten that tart Fidgit, if they're all that slimy"
You blanch.
Fidgit asks, "Ok, so now that I saved the world, started my own pseudo-religious group what else is there for me to do?"
Kythera says, "collect money"
Shawntelle nods to Kythera.
Shawntelle says, "Yep"
You say, "and free stuff"
Shawntelle says, "That always comes next"
Shawntelle says, "Yes and we need badges"
Shawntelle says, "Or jewelry"
Fidgit exclaims, "I think I can get to like this!"
Shawntelle says, "Jewelry"
Shawntelle says, "We need tart jewelry"
You ask, "tart jewelry?"
Shawntelle nods to you.
Shawntelle says, "To symbolize The Tart"
Shawntelle rolls her eyes.
Shawntelle says, "Keep up"
Fidgit says, "Or tart items"
Fidgit taps a black tart pouch with silver drawstrings that he is wearing.
Fidgit taps a purple velvet bag crafted to resemble a grape jam tart that he is wearing.
You rub your head.
You look yourself over.
Shawntelle peers quizzically at you.
Shawntelle says, "You must obtain for us tart items"
You ask, "me?"
Shawntelle says, "That is your official task"
Shawntelle says, "You're the Tart Item Getter"
You ask, "and If I fail?"
Shawntelle says, "You must not fail"
You ask, "...But if I do?"
Shawntelle exclaims, "Now!"
You edge away from Shawntelle.
Shawntelle exclaims, "Go forth and retreive for us tart items!"
Shawntelle points south.
Shawntelle says, "Order her sir"
Fidgit says, "If you fail then you will be forced to finish that seaweed tart"
Shawntelle exclaims, "Now, go forth and return with tart items!"
Kythera says, "I am confused"
Shawntelle looks thoughtfully at Kythera.
Shawntelle asks, "How is that new?"
You ask, "how is what new?"
Shawntelle says, "And so, the psuedo-religous order breaks down"
Kythera says, "I have a badge"
Shawntelle pokes Fidgit in the ribs.
Shawntelle says, "Try it"
Shawntelle says, "He's all squishy"
You give Fidgit a gentle poke in the ribs.
Shawntelle says, "Like a big tart"
You drool.
You ask, "no seaweed right?"
You narrow your eyes.
Fidgit exclaims, "hey, don't poke the Kord!"
Fidgit exclaims, "Don't make me eat that tart!"
Shawntelle gasps!
You say, "I dare ya"
You grin at Fidgit.
You say, "Eat it"
Fidgit meekly says, "I can't, then I wouldn't have any more worshippers...."
You ask, "no more worshippers?"
Fidgit says, "if I eat the tart"
You say, "the squirrel will worship"
You say, "especially if you leave crumbs"
The white squirrel looks at your finger as if it were an offering of food.
The white squirrel squeaks, "I will still worship you O' Mighty Kord Fidgit of the Tart"
Shawntelle says, "What we need is a Tart War"
Fidgit says, "I know, I maybe the savior of the world but I'm still only Olvi..."


This tale of Fidgit and the Tart of Doom is recorded as seen through the eyes of Suruli. This event happen almost a year ago, and that's how long I've been gone from the realms. It's good to be back.

-Kord Fidgit, Protector of the Lands and Keeper of the Sacred Tart of Doom