INSULT, SNEER, GNASH, GLOWER <person> and SPIT are a few off the top of my head. The insults are more Monty Python than anything else, however, so they may not work as intended. Nothing I can come up with that is a bodily function other than BELCH and it requires a drink. THUMP I think would turn most flirters off too.

-Evran

Armifer: EMA is now five times less likely to blow up in your face than MDIS!
Infomercial Co-host: That's incredible, Armifer! I know -I- would want this spell after hearing that!

Get an empty glass container of some sort. Certain drinks will leave a glass behind, or you could just go buy a vial from somewhere. No need to alter it or make it obvious what's inside, and you don't really even need to put anything in it.

When the flirting happens, don't just reject it or go all negative. Play along, and as soon as you can manage it ask them if they want to see your collection of (something disgusting). If they bizarrely say yes, give them the container so they can see inside for themselves. If they decide to make fun of you, act offended and get your container back and you can exit cleanly. If they say there's nothing inside, freak out with an appropriate variation of "NOBODY MOVE! I DROPPED A CONTACT!" and pester them until they spend time helping you find the missing collection of (something disgusting).

Alternatively, you could try working with a Sore Toe Cocktail or other real-life gross-out piece of food/drink.

DISCLAIMER: THIS POSTER IS NOT A MEMBER OF STAFF AND HIS INFORMATION IS/MIGHT BE WRONG.

Bahbtahrol smiles at you vacantly while digging absently in the cavern of his navel through a small tear in his dirty sweat-stained leathers. Mean while, back at his large rubbery lips, a stray bit of spittle glistens like morning dew.

NOW kiss me you fool!

I WANNA FART!

Redeth smiles absently and turns away from you, seeming to look inwardly. She then lifts her leg and shudders slightly as something that sounds vaguely like a rusty saw chewing on an oak knot rattles her plate greaves. Her eyes shift back to the present and she fans the air idly before saying, "Goblins do it to me everytime."

Love the lost contacts though. That made me giggle.

Red'

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>>That whole anti-stud comment doesn't apply to just the boys here. Girl gamers are just as damaged-goods as the guy-gamers are, they're just a lot more emotionally fragile about the whole thing. ~LOFTONM1

Direct always works. Something along the lines of, "Shoo. Go away. You're a pest."

Otherwise, acting like a boring academician seems unusually effective. Start debating an obscure point of in-game history with yourself and several authors whose pathetic works you can't decry enough. "They were bribed, I tell you! Bribed, to write such drivel!" Delve into the intricate mechanics of alchemy and whether dracon crystals or seolarn weed makes a better catalyst. Expound upon the Crowtherian theory of spell matrices and how it applies to different forms of mana, and watch their eyes glaze over. They'll go bother some dancer in a tight bodice instead.

Don't you believe that there is in man a deep so profound as to be hidden even to him in whom it is?
-Saint Augustine

>> Otherwise, acting like a boring academician seems unusually effective.

I do this.

Either people get extremely bored or frustrated or I'm an instant hit.

I figure the sort of person this appeals to is exactly the kind of person I want to be hanging out with anyway. :)

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Rev. Reene

"Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water. The moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken. Although its light is wide and great...The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass."
- Dogen