>>Is there any lore around togs which does not paint them as either DR playable trolls, or similar?

Plenty. Most can be found on Elanthipedia.

Here's a brief:

Primarily, Gor'Togs are a really noble race that puts a lot of recognition into strength, candor, and honors their Bards more than any other race. The Bard bit is because Gor'Togs do not have a written language, in fact, when writing, they use Gamgweth. Bards, lore-keepers, heritage keepers, and storytellers are the most important people to the Gor'Togs, because everything about their history is passed this way.

While the Gor'Togs don't care "where they came from originally," they care quite a bit about their history, so as they do not repeat the unhappy bits -- Such as the enslavement or the killing of their Bards when Dzree came along.

The primary reason Gor'Togs get called "stupid" and "dense" is because a great deal of their educated people were killed, resulting in a lot of people that were not really equipped for the task, to take over things like storytelling.

>>Are there any coming of age rituals?
I think there is one story that touches on it, but I don't remember what it is right now.

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NaOH+HI