I admit it's sort of a tongue twister, but most people have never seen it before, so it's been a really good icebreaker for me when I'm in a gathering such as teaching a class. But the translation also has a nice sound to it, so I can see your point as well.
I'm not sure which way I'd lean if I had to pick one right now.
~ Vanxa
You see Grazhir cracking open in one sharp movement.
The World Dragon emerges, roaring soundlessly.
It moves to sear Katamba to a lifeless black.
You see the night sky, filled with stars.
